You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
