He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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