I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize