O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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