Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
