just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
