Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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