dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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