I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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