O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
