I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
