If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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