if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
