butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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