just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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