how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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