these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
