That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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