if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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