Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
