i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
