dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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