Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
