i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
