I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize