eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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