Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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