my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
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when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.