on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".