from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
