he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im holly from the hills drunk
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My liver is preforming stress tests.