Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
