Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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