we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
