She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
