Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
