I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Fuck appropriateness.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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