worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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