Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
