this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
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not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
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Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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