It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
