She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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