That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
