oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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