As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize