I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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