Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
