you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
