I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
