I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
