You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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