I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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