i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
