i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A bitchslap is in order.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
