this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
