Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
