I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
