he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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