honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
