somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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