jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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