butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
