That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
