Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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