Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize