He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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