we have officially lost it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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