i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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